Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Amber Justine...

At 17 I had my baby girl Amber Justine. I was the cliche teenage father, I was just another statistic.

Throughout her life I've struggled time and time again with myself. My role in her life was simply that of a part-time-father.

In search of prosperity, I moved from Virginia, to New Mexico, to Ohio, to Illinois, to South Carolina, to Arizona... and so forth.

All the while I sent photographs, letters, care packages, drawings, poems, basically anything I could use to communicate my love for her. Somehow I hoped that in my absence these objects might embrace her, warm her, nurture her... sustain her.



Today, halfway around the world, I can't help but to think of Amber when my wife Jasmine and our son Levi-Joseph wake from a lazy afternoon. She shuffles the comforter off and "POP" her tummy displays its six months of growth. I wonder, as I often have, what have I missed in my daughter's life?



Having had the opportunity and blessing to be a full-time father to my boy, I completely imagine and know what I have lost. I also know that Amber has been shortchanged.

Despite my shortcomings as a father in her life Amber and I continue to define our relationship on our own terms.

Her compassion and infinite understanding of me is profound....

2 comments:

perlanegra said...

thats really honest. and thats the most she can ask for. the older she grows, the better she will understand.

RICH-JOSEPH FACUN said...

Amber actually has always had a really fascinating compassion and understanding about our relationship. She has always been very open and honest with me. I can only hope that it continues.